Why does my mother think I hate her? or, How I inherited crazy from my mom.

I received this text message from my mother today:

*Family Communication #1, Text*
I don’t understand what up with you two, you have both hurt me very much.

This was, of course, followed by a quick phone call to my sister, Banana, who is the other one of the “you two.”

*Family Communication #2, Phone Call*
Banana: Hello?

MommyTsunami: What is up with mom? Why do we hate her?

Banana: I dunno. She hung up on me earlier.

MommyTsunami: Oh. God. So…I should call her?

Banana: You can try…
I had to, of course, call my mother next. I called, half hoping she wouldn’t answer–I could hang up, but caller ID would still get me credit for the call…and half hoping that the phone would explode or a black hole would open up and suck me in before my mom answered the phone.

No one answered.  I might get my peaceful evening!

No such luck.

Caller ID warns me to sound cheery. It’s mom.

*Family Communication #4, Phone Call*
MommyTsunami: Hello?

Mom: Well, hellllllo stranger.
{translation…you haven’t called me in a long time}

MommyTsunami: Hi. How are you?

Mom: Iiiiiiiii’m fine. How are YOOOOUUUUU?
{translation…the only sufficient reason for not calling me in so long is a fatal illness.}

MommyTsunami: Mom, I’m great.  Is something wrong? What happened? I got your text.

Mom: I didn’t get a card for Mother’s Day.
{translation…why do you hate me?}

MommyTsunami: I’m sorry mom.  Honestly, I’m broke.  I’m counting pennies to buy groceries by the end of my paycheck.  I’ll make you a card.  I promise.

Mom: I bet dh’s mom got a card for Mother’s Day….
{translation…why do you love his mom more than your own?}

MommyTsunami: No mom.  She knows we’re broke.

Mom: Ooooookaaaaay. Well, you could have called me at least.
{translation…why don’t you love me at ALL?}

MommyTsunami: I did. I called you at about 5 to 3, I know I did because I remember looking at the clock and thinking, “This is usually when she goes to work.”

Mom: Well, alright. You’re off the hook.  I vaguely remember that. But I want a card next year.
{translation…FINE. But it’s not the thought but the purchase that counts.}

MommyTsunami: Of course, mom.  Hey, the baby is crying.  I gotta go. Talk to you later?
{translation…the women in my family are CRAZY. No one is crying.  But, I gotta go.}


~ by The Mommy Tsunami on May 26, 2009.

3 Responses to “Why does my mother think I hate her? or, How I inherited crazy from my mom.”

  1. LOL you are not alone.. sounds just like our family. We call and warn each other when mom’s on her warpath!

  2. If this ain’t a conversation I have with my three sisters on a regular basis… My mother needs meds but she won’t go get her own, she always ask for mine. I’m not giving her anymore… I need them for myself damit!

  3. hey girl, don’t feel bad. My mom texted me the other day just because she wanted to let me know that my car insurance is due by Oct 19. I havn’t heard from her since July. She only calls for business like owing her money. It’s ssad lol!

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