I’m home, and I survived…although mosquitoes got the best of me

I’m back from my trip.  I have to admit, it wasn’t that bad.

Minus the fact that I was in a car for more than one whole day out of the last five days.  Which sucks big time when it’s 20% of all of your vacation time and you take very little vacation time for vacation purposes.

Anyway.  We had planned on being down in Dumas, Arkansas by mid afternoon on Friday, the 3rd of July.  Yeah, right.  We didn’t even come close.  We pulled into town around 11 pm.  Immediately, I was slightly relieved.  There goes one night of cousins hanging out that we would avoid.  Horrible, I know.  But I’m not gonna lie, I was nervous.  How would the family be?  Had anyone grown up in the last two years (least of all, dh?)? How did dh and my relationship improve over the last two years?

We went to sleep.  We would have to test the night of drinking on Saturday.

Saturday morning came quick enough.  We attempted to go get breakfast (at McD’s, no real “restaurants” in town) but missed it by about 5 minutes (major fail).  We had to arrive at the cemetery at 11 am.  Got there by 12pm.  No joke.  And we were not the last ones there.  And no one was ready anyway… Of course, someone in the family is a minister (isn’t someone in every family from the South? Kinda like someone in every Catholic family went into the convent or monastery?) and said a prayer.  And then my MIL (the oldest child in the family) said a few words.  Nothing crazy.  The crazy was said BEFORE the dedication.  To me.  By my MIL’s brother.  Dh’s uncle.  He said to me (and indirectly to dh) the following crazy things:

Crazy Uncle: Hey E, I see you brought your white wife!  You brought your white wife, huh???

{insert crickets here}

Crazy Uncle: Last time I saw you, you were big and fat!  Remember?  Remember the last time I saw you?

Me: Um, yes, I do.  And no, I wasn’t big and fat.

Crazy Uncle: Yes you was!  You was big and fat!

Me: Nope, I do remember and clearly I remember NOT being big and fat.  Mostly, because I was only 12 weeks pregnant.  I was about as big and fat as you are now.

{yep.  I really said that.  Most ’cause he deserved it after the crickets he heard from the first comment.}

Crazy Uncle: I’m not gonna talk to you no more.  You’re too smart for me.

Me:  You know what, it’s true.  If you’re not gonna talk to me ’cause I’m too smart, sounds like we’re never gonna talk.  Because I am smart.  And that’s not gonna stop.  But my guess is, you’re gonna keep on talking to me.  Whether I like it or not.

{Also said that.  Couldn’t help myself.}

Did I mention that Crazy Uncle was drunk?  Piss-drunk?

Ahhhhhhhh.  Dumas, Arkansas.

So, that ended and we went to a family picnic.

My nephew and our five sons...

My nephew and our five sons...

I really just walked around the park with the twins in their stroller while everyone else kinda congregated and ate.

Some of the Hill family men...that's my Momma's Boy smilin'

Some of the Hill family men...that's my Momma's Boy smilin'

Eventually I had a wonderful conversation with Cousin Ralo about the iPhone.

That's cousin Ralo wearing the tan cap.  He's cool.

That's cousin Ralo wearing the tan cap. He's cool.

That was probably the highlight of the picnic for me. Except for some time I spent with a dragonfly.

This dragonfly and I had a great time talking...

This dragonfly and I had a great time talking...

Then we skipped from aunt to aunt’s house.  Can’t not go to one if you go to another’s and can’t not eat one’s food if you ate the other’s.  Sisters in constant competition.   And being that this was the first time for the family to meet the twins, we had to make the rounds.

It was the fourth of July.  The older boys wanted to do some fireworks, so we bought some on the side of the road.  We were going to go out (with the cousins…) while my MIL took the boys.  But, dh’s brother got in a fight (drunk) with a cousin, so plans were cancelled (once again).

Sunday was all about making those same rounds before we had to head out of town.  A lot of food and almost as much shit-talking at everyone’s homes.

The weekend went fairly well.  I went from newbie in the family to a significant other.  Mom, wife, niece, cousin, and fellow SMART ASS.  Really, I think letting my mouth kick in to overdrive got the family’s acceptance or buy-in.  And now I’m one of them.

Awwww... That's all.

Awwww... That's all.

But, I gotta admit, those DAMN MOSQUITOES got the best of me! (And practically ate my boys alive!)

I shoulda had my dragonfly buddy talk to the ‘squitoes.


~ by The Mommy Tsunami on July 7, 2009.

2 Responses to “I’m home, and I survived…although mosquitoes got the best of me”

  1. Your blog eloquently illustrates why it is so important to live far from the in-laws. I ever tell you about the funeral luncheon held in the basement of a bowling alley?

  2. You know, I think family is pretty dang annoying not matter where or who. Like TruthODare above I stay as far away as possible. I’m an only child, and my parents live over an hour away. I don’t like to go there much and listen to my mom call me fat and harp at me because my 14 yo daughter went to rehab (yeah…it’s all my fault) and my 16yo son has long hair and a ‘tude.

    Beloved’s side is just plain bats and they’re all southern, so I know what you mean about the food thing ::wink::

    Ah fun. Family family – those crazy families. Can’t live with ’em, can’t shoot ’em. Well, not legally anyways.

    But you guys make a beautiful couple – and you have such darling kidlets.

    PS Oh and skeeters? SUCK. Literally and figuratively. sucksucksuck!!!! We live by a river so they’re especially vicious

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